Sunday, October 29, 2006

A crazy week

The week started off badly. Last Sunday I started to bleed. I called Dr. Kim and he told me to call Monday morning and make an appointment. So I did. Althought Derick and I freaked out. I was more attached to this baby than I had thought. And I immediately couldn't imagine my life without it. We went in on Monday and everything was fine. We saw the heartbeat, and Sprout is measuring perfectly! It was wonderful.

On Wednesday I started bleeding again. I didn't freak out as much this time because I knew that I had just heard the heartbeat. But on Thursday morning when I woke up and was still bleeding, I decided to call Dr. Kim again. He wanted to see me immediately. Sprout was still there, it's heart beating away strongly, and everything again looked fine. Dr. Kim thinks it was just the placenta attaching. But everything looks ok. He doesn't think we are out of the woods yet, though.

On Friday I quit my job. Yes, you read it right. They backed me into a corner. Either I had to go out on disability or they wouldn't tolerate missing any work or having doctors appointments. Oh, and by the way, they thought I was stupid. I'm not disabled. I'm pregnant. And I'm not about to go out and persue a 'fradulent' disability charge. There is no reason for me to be out on disability! So I had to quit. I had no choice. Now we are back at the begining again.

I'm trying so save as much money as I can, but it's hard. And it's going to get harder. I want more than anything to buy Sprout a new crib and a toy that I desperately want for it. It's the Playschool Peak and Play Dome and I just adore everything about it! It's all I want to buy for him or her, and now I'm terrified that we won't get that far AND that we won't have enough money to do it! I don't want Sprout to have hand me down''s bad enough that I thought it was ok for Dylan. I want everything perfect for our miracle baby. A little neurotic? YES!

At the grocery store today an older lady mistook my coat for a baby in the cart. I laughed it off, but walked away in tears. I wanted to say, "It should be a baby but God had other plans." or "God willing it will be a baby, but not until June." It was horrible. I made a personal vow never to take my coat off at the grocery store again!

That's about it for crappy week. I'll try to write more now that I have the time!


Cajun Cutie said...

Hey Becky,
Hang in there. Sprout doesn't have to have "hand me downs". If you don't get a baby shower I will throw you an E-shower or something :) It will be o.k. I wish you and derrick all the best. Sorry to hear about your job. I know how much you wanted it to work out.
Yours, in friendship,