Monday, November 03, 2008

Twist of fate

Derick told me stories of his grandmother. Stories that I've never heard, and I was sad because I never knew her. I was sad for him, and for Lily. Nora was her name. If Dylan was a girl that's what his name would have been and when it came time to name Lily we couldn't bear to give her that name. It just seemed to go with him. Anyway, she was the type of woman that cuddled with him. She held him when he was scared, and did a lot with him. She was his security in a world of uncertain.

His Dad moved to Colorado when Derick was 13 or so. He took his mother with him, and Derick never saw them again. He also has 3 brothers and a sister that he hasn't seen since.

Thursday night he was telling me about her and he asked if I thought she died. I didn't know what to say, so I pulled out the computer and we looked at She passed September 27th, 2007 at the age of 93. There was a 'contact me' link, and I clicked. It went to his father's sister's email. So I wrote. I explained that I was his wife, we were sorry to hear of the passing of his mother, and that Derick would love to speak to him. We have a little girl now, I told them, and it would mean a lot to us for her to know them. I gave him our phone number and Derick's email address and we waited.

The phone rang about 9pm tonight. I answered and it was his Dad. I quickly passed the phone to Derick, and I could see in his eyes. From what we understand his dad fought for custody of him for quite some time. Not that I'm defending him at all, but he obviously wanted something to do with Derick. In fact when Derick was a baby the court ordered him full custody and he had Derick until he was almost 3 before his mom got him back. It was strange...and we don't know the whole story. His mom had a bunch of issues at the time too (I know, redneck family that I married into...).

Anyway, I don't know how to describe the look on Derick's face. They talked for some time. Derick told him all about Dylan and Riley. He told him about Lily and how beautiful she is. He told him about his job and about me and where we lived. He talked about his mom and his grandmother that passed away.

His dad told him some things too. Mainly...he has Leukemia. He's about to undergo his 4th round of Chemo. He was grateful that we emailed him. Grateful to hear Derick's voice, and thrilled to know he has a granddaughter.

All the feelings that Derick had for him melted away. He's dying, and Derick decided that we need to go visit him. So we're off to Colorado in December. Sounds fun, right? Except it's going to be cold and we'll have a 4 month old. It's outside of Denver I guess. I have no idea what there is to do there, but regardless Derick will be able to work through some of these feelings. I hope so, at least.

So it seems that through a strange twist of fate and his grandmother's final gift, Derick will have a chance to know his father in a way that he hasn't before. I just pray that he doesn't get hurt in the meantime.


CLC said...

That just gave me the chills. I hope the meeting works out for Derick.

M said...

Typing w/ 1 hand so you know...

That really is an amazing twist of fate. I think no matter what happens, this will be really good for Derick. I had a similar situation, didn't know my dad until he e-mailed me one day when I was 14. I'd always only heard really bad things about him, which hurt. To make a long story short, I flew to Australia by myself when I was 18 to meet him. It turned out that he was alot of the things that my family said he was. But to see for myself, to get more of a complete picture, to also see a good side, and kind of see the reasons for the bad side, totally changed my life for the better.

Anyway, I hope it works out well for Derick and you get to enjoy your trip to Denver. I look forward to the pics :)

~S said...

Tears in my eyes. Wow. What a wonderful wife Derick has. Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Monica H said...

How wonderful! I had no idea he had so many siblings and didn't have any contact with them. That must have been tough.

I hope through the reunification, that he can meet his siblings as well. And you and Lily will have a family that supports and loves you.

I hope it works out. Have fun in Denver (google it!)

heathers243 said...

That gave me the chills, too. I'm glad you're making the trip to visit.

The good news is, traveling with a 4 mo is heavenly. Seriously, it is as good as it gets! She'll probably sleep through the whole thing.

~JLL~ said...

God has truly blessed you and your family! I hope you all have a wonderful trip.

Anonymous said...

wow thats a truly amazing and inspiring story. i hope all goes well :)