My Friend

In the begining of December, my mother called and sounded sad. I asked her what was wrong, and she skirted the issue a little making small talk and putting things off. Finally, after she was satisfied that I was alright, she continued.

"Remember I told you Carol's sister was pregnant?"
"Yeah, I remember...with twins?"
"Yup...well she's at the hospital. She lost baby A at 20 weeks. They are hoping that they can
save baby B."
"Oh no. My heart breaks for her. Keep me posted."
"I will. Carol called me and she said that if anyone would understand it was us."
"Oh geeze, Mom. Tell her to tell her sister that if she ever needs to talk..."
"I will."

I hung up and told Derick. He said that we should send them a card. I told him that we didn't know them, but that we will pray for them to make it through.

Two days later, December 4th, my mother called again to say that she lost her second son.

A few weeks later I had a message on my blog from a woman that lived near me. She explained that she had just lost her sons due to IC, and she noticed where I lived. I emailed her, and she wrote back. I saw my mom that night, and I asked her if Carol's sister's name was Lisa. I explained the story, and how it was fate that we meant. Our little boys brought us together, and we have been pretty close ever since. She was the one that suggested that I might be pregnant, even when I didn't want to believe it myself. She's comforted through my worries, and I hope that I've comforted her when she's needed me.

But I've noticed lately, especially after I called to see how she was two months later, and I'm sure she's probably reading this now...but I'm afraid for her. I know what it's like to pull away and isolate yourself after your loss. I know how freightening it is, and how sometimes you want nothing more than to hide in bed all day. And it's not something that each person does consciously. It's something that just happens. But I don't want it to happen to her. I desperately want for her to come through this...because there is light at the end of her tunnel. When Derick and I talked about it, I had hoped that it had nothing to do with me being pregnant again...as I know that pain all to well too. There are to many nights that I can count where I have cried myself to sleep knowing that "So and so is pregnant and I'm not..." It's killed friendships that I had, and it's made me think terrible things about people that I love so much. And if she feels this way...I understand. I understand those tears and that heartache.

Anyway, Lisa has become a great friend to me when I needed it more than anything. I used to ask God, through my tears, for someone to talk to. And I found it...or I should say that she found me.

So if you are reading this...know how much you mean to me always. You are the answer to my prayers, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.