What a week

I had another appointment on Tuesday. Everything went really well. It was with the nurse, but she went over everything that I needed to know before I even had a chance to bring it up. She said that after the TAC is placed, they will do weekly ultrasounds to monitor everything. Her and my doctor both agree that the progesterone shots are deffinately needed, even though my old doctor said they were unneccessary. She wants to start them at approximately 14w instead of the usual 16 and that the people that will come to our house and administer them weekly will also check for contractions and the fetal heart rate. So that will be kind of nice! With them, I have an appointment scheduled for March 18th, and then a level I ultrasound scheduled for March 20th with the Peri. She advised me to call the day of the appointment though because there are only 2 doctors on that day. The good one, and the one that killed Riley.

H0wever, I'm starting to get nervous about things. At this point it's been almost 2 weeks since the last ultrasound and the heartbeat, and still 2 weeks until the TAC. I can't help but think that the baby died and I don't know it. I'm sure that's not the case because a missed miscarriage isn't all that common. But I'm still nervous about it. And I'm afraid that it's just going to get worse as time goes on. One week at a time...one week at a time...

And then, to make the week better...Derick called me Thursday morning early. I almost ignored the phone and then I realized that it must be important because he doesn't usually call that early unless something is going on. I answered and he said, "Meet me at the ER. I hurt myself, bad." I freaked out, expecting that because my babies die, that something terrible is going to happen to him too. So I threw my clothes on, drive to the ER and when I'm on my way, he calls to see where I am. He's crying at this point, and he keeps telling me that he loves me. Now I'm really scared.

I get there, and come to find out that he almost cut his finger off. He works with steel, and apparently they kind of folded in on his finger and pinched it. It was cut from his top knuckle to his fingernail. The nail was basically what kept it attached. Originally they thought they would have to take him into the OR to reattach all of the nerves and stuff. But the doctor came in and said that he would be able to just stitch it back together and regardless of doing it in the OR or not, there would still be nerve damage. He also fractured the bone, and bruised the rest of his hand.

So now here we are...

We can barely take care of ourselves. The house is a mess. I'm so stressed out about everything...the bills, the baby, the surgery, Derick, keeping up with the housecleaning, the dog...everything. He's in a lot of pain, but doesn't like to take the pain medicine because it makes him groggy. He's sleeping now, and when I looked over Lilo had offered him her stuffed animal to sleep with. I'm sure that he didn't even notice, but she put it under his arm to snuggle. Haha! I tried to take a picture, but when I came back he had apparently noticed and pushed it away!

I told him that it's so nice of him to be so concerned about my surgery that he's hurt himself so he can take care of me later : )