You don't give up, do you?

We spent the evening with my Dad's family. They have not been very supportive of us since we lost the boys, and sadly they aren't much more now. My Dad's sister has been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and has decided at this point, it's best to stop chemo and live the rest of her life the best she can. Today was my grandmother's birthday and the whole family surrounded her. We had to take a family picture, with my aunt in attendance. It's not the last time we are going to see her, but I guess my grandparents are afraid that it could be the last time that everyone is together. One uncle is in NYC, another in Norfolk, VA, and yet another in Washington DC. So it's not easy to get us all together...especially her grandchildren.

At dinner my grandfather started grilling Derick and I about how we are paying our bills. He doesn't get that I can't work at the moment and any type of work would be disasterous for my dissability...and that's not a risk we can take right now. Derick started a new job and is working each and every weekend so we can get caught up on things. It's double-time on the weekends, so it helps a lot. But he wanted to know EXACTLy why Derick isn't getting a second job. It's aggravating, really. He's not paying our bills...in fact, he hasn't even called to see how we are. Eventually he got distracted and got up, my grandmother sat down next to me. She went on to say that my cousins IC have nothing to do with me. She basically made me feel like I'm all on my own...a freak of the family...a woman that can't carry a child. My uncle's partner sat down on the other side of me and proceeded to as how I was. I told him, and then I told him that I was pregnant again. The words out of his mouth blew me away.

"Again?! Boy, you don't give up, do you?"
"No Sebastian, I don't give up. And certainly not on THIS!"

He got up and walked away. I couldn't believe it, and my grandmother heard the whole conversation. She's the one who keeps telling my parents that I should stop and enjoy the life that I have with my husband. I know she has a lot going through her mind right now, but what can't she get about our situation?

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On another note, we've finally decided on a name: Lillian Rylan

It's the only name that both of us can agree on. We'll call her Lily, and Rylan is both of her brother's names put together. We've been getting obscene comments on it, but we answer with a smile, "Oh, well it's funny you have an opinion. You didn't consult us when you named your children." It's quick, easy, and effective : )